Ariel was able to surrender her voice for a new pair of legs. Legs to help her seek things above. All in the search of Prince Eric.
Likewise, I have lost my voice (both literally and figuratively. Drinking lots of tea.). The language has been a huge roadblock for me. Although having spent many years studying Spanish and getting high marks, doubt constantly enters my mind. I know that this doubt is the work of the Enemy (just like Ursula!). It's difficult to comprehend spoken word or input into a conversation I understand because by the time I formulate in my mind something to say, the topic has already changed. I became a mute and it made me so aggravated. For me, when I set my mind to do a task, I'd like to do it the best as I can. But coming here, that has been nearly impossible because I cannot understand what my tasks are fully.
I realize to though that my task is much like Ariel's. To get out the bubble of my comfort zone in order truly "Seek Things Above" (Colossians 3:2, anyone?) and really get to know my prince, the Prince of Peace.
BOOM!
Anyway, today has been one of progress. I'm finding my musical voice and putting it to use! As soon as I got here, the sisters found out that I like to sing. This evening Mariela and I went to see the youth group and their preparations for a play on Sunday about Saint Francis and Saint Clara. It came up again that I sing and so I sang a bit in English for them all. Afterwards, I was invited to sing during their show! The final scene is Clara having her hair cut and taking her vows, and I will be singing during the action. I'm so excited to finally be able to put one of my talents to use!!
Little by little, everyday, I battle the Enemy inside me for my voice back. And I must say, things finally began to turn around by saying the rosary with the sisters. It was exactly what I needed because my spirituality was lacking and that's a huge part of mission! I just needed to push [pray.until.something.happens] And yes indeed, something did happen.
Today there were many victories. I was able to get around Santa Cruz without the departing SLM, and tell Madre Clara that I was going to the plaza to change money, get groceries, make a deposit for the bank and that I'd return to help with the students' plays (I hope she was proud because that might just be the most she's heard me say in Spanish thus far).
Mariela stayed back because she is more involved with the students' plays. So I offered to make her deposit as well. Without her, my linguistic crutch, I had to make my way around Montero with my own Spanish skills. I was going with Antoinette and Natalie, and of the three I was the one with the most history with the language.
I was able to flag us three motos and off we headed to the plaza. There I exchanged my own money with the dudes there. At the supermarket I asked the cashier if she knew where the Banco Union was and was able to understand most of it!! Another two motos were hailed (one for me, and one for Antoinette and Natalie) and asked for Banco Union. Wouldn't you know, we made it to the right place! At the bank, we waited DMV style; for our number to pop up with which booth to go to. And wouldn't you know, I was able to get across that what I needed to do and for whom. More than that, I was able to make small talk! YAY!
The motos are a great time to think. It was while riding to the Banco Union and calling out behind me to the girls, "estoy ganando!" that I realized a lot had changed from the day before. My heart was lighter, I am capable and it mostly is due to getting in the prayer I really needed to do myself. Despite all the prayers and good vibes are being sent my way, I needed to be the one to open up that dialogue between God and myself about my struggles and need of His grace in my heart. To set myself back on the right path. To reignite my heart for why I came down here in the first place.
p.s: odd fact, I wanted to get Seek Things Above tattooed on my ribs when I finish mission because I won't be able to give blood for a year upon arrival to the EEUU, so the fact that it fits so uncannily well into this post is just mind-slanting to me.
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